When I woke up this morning, my whole body was in pain and I felt like I hadn’t slept at all last night. But as Cake once sang: “Shut the fuck up, learn to buck up!” So I threw some water into my face, pampered my golden ass with some fresh boxers and slipped into my cosy white-grey Lakai Soca 2. The day could start… well… at least that’s what I thought. After stepping outside I tried to focus my eyes but this called sun wouldn’t let me. And so I creeped along the streets to the library and made a stop at the kiosk to get some hot coffee. Hell yeah! But even after that I couldn’t even be bothered to take a look through the windows of the hearing aid acoustician academy to sneak a peek at some of the fine young ladies working hard in there. After hours of sitting in front of computers, black boards and paper stacks I felt hungry. So I decided to pay a visit to the cafeteria to give my poor maltreated body some nutrition. But actually I didn’t really walk there. It was more like a form of lurching with my eyes half open and a posture like a wet potato bag. I felt the need for coffee and flesh… or something close to that, when suddenly two students came across my way and looked somewhat scared at my visage. That was when it hit me! Last night a fuckin’ zombie must have bitten me, for fucks sake! Now I am finally one of them! Jissis fok, yess! Come here my new friends! I wanna copulate with you! Holy son of a !

For those of you who haven’t watched this trailer by Richard Gale yet, here you go:

Holy ! This is so good! These artists got some serious art tits!

Think you’ve seen it all? Yeah, right… Watch this and your life will change. Forever! But careful: this is definitely NSFW!!!

Readers of Girls & Corpses should definitely carry their Necrocard in their wallet:

Nice interpretation of the old and well-known fairy tale:

My flat mate and me we recently got into some serious zombie b-movie fever. Sometimes we just ordered Pizza and watched up to three movies an evening.

One night we watched a movie called “Battlefield Baseball” or 地獄甲子園 as the Japanese title would be. A movie where some evil group of zombie baseball players kills other teams during the tournament. Well, sounds funny, let’s watch it.

We expected some common Japanese trash movie with bad costumes and a cheesy story. But hell did we get surprised! You know when you watch a movie and you have one of those “WTF!?”-moments? Like some guy shoots another guy and you just think: “wtf? Where did he come from?” “Battlefield Baseball” is a pure compilation of “WTF!?”-moments, “Laugh your ass off”-moments and more “WTF!?”.

You doubt that? Well then just watch this short scene where the main character plays baseball – or better: he fights baseball – against some evil guy that turns into a nice guy with a different face later:

And that’s actually one of the lame scenes in this movie but I couldn’t find any better ones on youtube.

After this scene the screen turns into a gay orange and the main character starts to sing about how he killed his father by throwing a baseball through his body cause he is some strong ass that can actually throw a tornado-fire-baseball-thingy and shit. Later it turns out that he is the brother of some nerdy kid and some fat sledgehammer wielding granny that hates baseball and fights him in a nice karate scene is their mom and… yeah… well I guess that’s how it was. At least that’s the way I understood it. I mean I can follow a movie’s storyline but if some guy dies and appears again with a completely different face and body and says that he has changed his mind and fights for the other side now… yeah, that is fucking confusing, !

The weird all that sounds, the good this movie was. I mean, yeah, it was kinda crappy but I guess I’ve never been that entertained in my entire life. So please do me a favour and watch this movie. It’s worth every dime. Seriously! I promise you that no movie will ever be the same again after you’ve seen this one.

Holy ! Watch it! NOW! Do it you !

If your nerdy heart somehow beats for Pac-Man, you should definitely check out this nice dossier written by Jamey Pittman. I especially liked the chapters about the ghost’s A.I. and behaviour.

Ok, you thought that 2 girls 1 cup was some sick ? You nearly threw up watching “The Human Centipede“, “Feed“, “Tokyo Gore Police” or any other movie created by some sick ? Well then please don’t even think about watching the worst outpour of the FEMALE director Rosa von Praunheim with the title “Your Heart in My Head“! It’s a film about the german cannibal Armin Meiwes, who killed and ate a man near Rothenburg, Germany in 2001. Basically the first half of this cinemassacre is something between a softcore gayporn and a hardcore gayporn. In the second half you see detailed and medically very realistic footage of Meiwes feeding Brandes his own penis, gutting him, chopping him up, cooking and eating him during a nice candle light dinner with Brandes’ head. I guess if I write any further, I will throw up all over my keyboard. So remember kids: play with fire, go home in the dark with obscure men, have unprotected sex but HANDS OFF THIS SICK PIECE OF !!!

My new favourite thing to comment with on dispensable facebook posts: